Are you a fiercely independent mountain athlete who thrives on the challenge of skiing steep lines and navigating changing conditions, but sometimes struggles to be vulnerable or ask for what you need in your relationship? In mountain communities like ours, the same traits that make us exceptional out there; grit, stoicism, self-reliance can quietly create emotional distance with the people we love most. In this post, I explore the paradox at the heart of the outdoor adventure community, share something personal about my own relationship, and reflect on what the mountains have taught me — and what they can't.

Most therapists don't talk about what brought them to this work. I do.

In this latest blog post, I share the experiences that shaped my path — growing up in a family where conflict ran deep, navigating my parents' divorce at 16, and finding my way to a career built around helping others feel seen, understood, and secure.

From an EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) lens, conflict is rarely about the surface issue.
It’s about tender places. 💚

Places that learned long ago:
“This hurts.”
“This isn’t safe.”
“I could lose you here.”

When we slow down, we can begin to notice what’s underneath the argument—the raw spot, the attachment wound asking:
Do I matter? Am I safe? Will you stay?

To protect these places, we develop strategies. We shut down. We get critical. We pull away. Not because we’re “too much,” but because we’re trying to stay emotionally safe.