What 16-Year-Old Me Needed — And Why I Now Give It to Others
Most therapists don't talk about what brought them to this work. I do.
In this latest blog post, I share the experiences that shaped my path — growing up in a family where conflict ran deep, navigating my parents' divorce at 16, and finding my way to a career built around helping others feel seen, understood, and secure.
From Big Questions to Better Answers: My Path to Counseling
My journey toward mental health counseling began around the age of 16, when I started asking some of the bigger questions in life: "Why am I here?" "What's the meaning of life?" "Why are people such jerks sometimes?"
Our conflicts aren’t really about the surface issue
From an EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) lens, conflict is rarely about the surface issue.
It’s about tender places. 💚
Places that learned long ago:
“This hurts.”
“This isn’t safe.”
“I could lose you here.”
When we slow down, we can begin to notice what’s underneath the argument—the raw spot, the attachment wound asking:
Do I matter? Am I safe? Will you stay?
To protect these places, we develop strategies. We shut down. We get critical. We pull away. Not because we’re “too much,” but because we’re trying to stay emotionally safe.