From Big Questions to Better Answers: My Path to Counseling

My journey toward mental health counseling began around the age of 16, when I started asking some of the bigger questions in life: "Why am I here?" "What's the meaning of life?" "Why are people such jerks sometimes?" [editor's note: present company included]. My wondering and wandering from that young age took me through twists and turns, ups and downs — and I eventually found therapy to be a huge support along the way.

I saw my first therapist around age 25, having suffered what I now know to be Persistent Depressive Disorder. I had recently gone through a bad breakup, and I couldn't deny any longer that I needed some help sorting through everything I was thinking and feeling. Speaking with a professional trained to have good conversations and ask the right questions just made sense to me — despite the stigma that still existed around mental health counseling at the time. I've seen a few more therapists over the years, and I've always found it to be a great way to gain perspective. Plus, it's just really nice to have a dedicated ally in your corner sometimes.

I came to the profession itself later in life. I studied engineering for my undergraduate degree, even though I never really wanted to be an engineer. I always found myself drawn more to the "softer" side of things — psychology, religion, and philosophy classes I took as a minor. I never wound up working as an engineer, and instead gravitated toward people through management and sales.

I like to say my "second" degree was from the School of Hard Knocks. I invested a great deal of time, energy, and resources into self-help books, workshops, seminars, and all kinds of other experiential pursuits.

I eventually decided to make a go of it in the field that had always held such a deep curiosity for me. I stepped away from my previous career, enrolled in a master's program in 2023, and earned my "third" degree. I never looked back.

The engineer in me loves to explore and question thoughts using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The creative side of me loves the experiential approach of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Our emotions can be one of the most informative aspects of our personal experience — EFT seeks to capture that experiential knowledge and put it into practical application. I often tell clients that while emotions can be uncomfortable and sometimes messy, they are almost always quite reasonable. They can point us toward deeper truths about ourselves and our needs, if we're willing to listen to what they have to tell us.

The big questions I had at 16 are still with me many decades later. I just have a little more life experience and training now to help me formulate some reasonable answers. Those answers offer me peace of mind — and yet I know they are nuanced and never absolute. I also take comfort in knowing I'm not alone in wondering about such things, and that there are others who can help me organize my thinking when I need it.

My experience of mental health occupies the realms of psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. I believe we owe it to ourselves — and to the world around us — to take a courageous look at what dwells below the surface of our everyday lives, as much as we are willing and able. What we find there might surprise us, and even embolden us to shift patterns of thinking and behavior we've been carrying for a long time — sometimes without even knowing it.